(lactation activist)
A Motherlode of Breastfeeding Information
Responding to Criticism
Responding to criticism about our life choices is never easy, but it can be especially difficult when it regards feeding your infant. Every mother wants the best for her child. She wants her to be well-loved and well-fed. In this day of overwhelming information, much of it inaccurate, it is difficult to know if you are making the right choice. It is even worse if the criticism comes from a loved one. When choosing to breastfeed, you may find that the stiffest opposition you run into is from your family. If you are one of the fortunate women who have a supportive family, make sure they know their support is valuable to you. If not, there are many ways to handle criticism. Family is not the only place you might encounter criticism of breastfeeding. Strangers on the street often feel the need to place their personal opinion on you. Even a brief comment can leave you questioning yourself.
Ignoring people is often an effective tactic. Many brief comments or simple statements can be ignored. Why waste your time and energy responding to negative comments? Although anytime you are being criticized for your choice to breastfeed, you can use it as an opportunity to inform. Quoting the WHO recommendation or AAP recommendation is helpful. This works especially well for family members. State all the benefits of breastmilk and ask them why wouldn't they want their new relative to receive the best food around.
Turning questions back to the asker can stop criticism in its tracks. If asked why you are still nursing a toddler, you can turn it around and ask why they are bothered by it. If asked why you aren't giving your baby bottles so other family members can participate, you can ask why they feel inadequate in their ability to love a baby without a bottle. There are various ways you can answer a question with a question leaving them to wonder why they asked in the first place.
If certain friends or family members persist in criticizing your choice, it can be very demoralizing. Informing yourself about the merits of breastmilk and especially the dangers of formula will help you to feel confident in your choice in the face of your loved one's doubts. Surround yourself with others who feel that breastfeeding is normal and natural. Get support for yourself and kindly ask the person to refrain from speaking to you about it. Do not allow someone else's opinion to shake your confidence in your ability to nourish your child at your breast. We are designed to feed our babies from our breasts and babies thrive there. It really doesn't matter what others think so long as you follow your instincts and do what is best for your child and yourself.
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DISCLAIMER: This web site is designed for educational purposes only. You should not rely on this information as a substitute for medical attention, or diagnosis. If you are having breastfeeding difficulties, please contact an IBCLC near you for assistance. If you have any questions consult your family's health care provider. In some instances, the information represents opinion or judgment. Neither the information providers nor the Site owner guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information in this website nor will they be responsible for any errors or omissions or for the results obtained from the use of such information. The Site owner and the information providers will not be liable or responsible to any person(s) for any loss or damage caused whatsoever by the use of information or ideas referenced in this web site. Your participation in this service therefore is solely at your own risk.